Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Marriage BC (Before Children)

My friend Amy is having a rough day with her energetic son, and I tried to bring her comfort even though I'm smack dab in the middle of Kid Chaos myself. I'm just having a little bit calmer day than her, so it's easier for me to see the light right now. The only light she's seeing are the fluorescent Target store lights floating around in her head while she wistfully thinks about getting out of the house (alone) and having some (alone) shopping time!

After I got off the phone with her, I started thinking about my life and marriage BC; Before Children. The comparisons are so hilarious that I wanted to share some of them here...

BC I worked outside the home, brought in a nice tidy paycheck, and had no qualms about spending some of it on myself. Manicures, new shoes, Starbucks...all guilt-free pleasures. Now I work in the home, make no money on my own, and can't remember the last manicure or Starbucks.

BC I had little breakable collectible things all over the house, including my miniature tea sets. Now I think they are packed somewhere and we have NO breakable collectible anything setting anywhere, and I strongly discourage anyone from buying me such a thing! It would be swallowed if it had small pieces, broken, or turned into a neat space missile that should be thrown across the room, in my son's opinion.

BC my husband and I took college courses, both on campus and online. We spent hours studying, reading, and writing papers. Now my husband has to lock himself in the office just to break out a Biblical commentary to research a sermon, and I'm so clueless about what's going on Outside that I didn't even know what the health care bill was about (see previous post).

BC we'd go out to eat with our other married (no children) friends, all the time if we wanted to! We'd sit at tables without highchairs, kids menus, or crayons. We could order anything off the menu without a thought for the price. Nothing was spilled onto the floor, in our laps, or flung across the room. The loudest we got was when our husbands got into their weird guy humor jokes and we wives would sit there shaking our heads. Now if we just go out with one other couple, our friends Tyrel and Kenda Butler, we have to ask for FOUR highchairs and spend so much time ordering kids meals, extra plates, extra napkins, and kids covered drinks that we are hardly aware of we order for ourselves except for making sure it's 'within our price range', also known as figuring out where in the pay period we are and if we need to stay in the $15 a meal range or not... Food gets flung and other patrons notice the loudness of the kids as we just try to eat our food before it gets cold.

BC I'd clean the house once a week (ONCE a WEEK!!) and it stayed clean! I'd complain about my husband leaving his socks in the living room instead of taking them to the bedroom laundry basket. Now those socks are the least of my worries, of course! Cracker crumbs, toys scattered, milk-filled sippy cups fermenting beneath my bed, permanent marker drawings on the wall, and a three year old who sometimes gets distracted using the potty....daily vacuuming and cleaning is necessary, although exhausting.

BC we'd sleep late on weekends. On lazy Sunday afternoons my husband would enjoy playing video games while I enjoyed lying on the couch and dozing as I watched him play. Now sleep itself is a rare commodity and I never see my husband play games because if he gets a chance, it's late at night when everyone is asleep.

The list goes on....but it's funny how different things were BC!

And to be honest, life was more boring. Now we have constant little companions who crack us up, annoy us, keep us awake, and bring us joy. Little breathy kisses and tiny arms hugging our necks. Squeals of joy at Daddy piggy-back rides and snuggles when we read to them.

We may be more tired, our home may be dirtier, poorer, and noisier, but oh...in many ways we are so much happier now, than Before Children.

4 comments:

  1. oh yeah, were we boring? hmmm can't seem to remember at the moment. I remember Starbucks, trips, clothes, Nordstroms...blah blah. I'm sure, however, if someone did time machine me back to several years ago, I would ask to come back. So there, I guess that solves my lack of memories. :)

    xoxo

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  2. So true! Even with one little person running around my house things are so different but I wouldn't trade it for the world!

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  3. Robert and I had only 10 months BC...so we don't really know what married life is like without kids or a pregnancy. :)

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  4. I'm with Cheyenne... What was that like?

    I laughed when I read the resturant description. We tipped our waiter extra to compensate for the shared meals, noise level, and food particles stuck to the carpet.

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