Boo-Hoo Blog

So this is the biggest event of my day:

I know, I know, every parent says it; "I can't believe my baby is going to Kindergarten!" I thought I was prepared for these emotions. After all, this is not my first "First Day of School" to go through! Let me back up a bit...

Samuel starting preschool two weeks before turning 3.

Baby Olivia not sure what to think.

Samuel starting year two of preschool, two weeks before turning 4.

Olivia is pretty excited for him!

First day of Kindergarden, two weeks before turning 5.

Olivia is excited again but Baby Emma not sure what to think...

But today we took my firstborn baby to a new school. A very very big new school. With lots of kids and buildings and new newness. My son looks very big and tall thanks to genetics, and he fit in thanks to the mandatory school t-shirt, and he acted very confident. But I wish I knew what was really going on in his little brain...

Since he missed the 'real' first day last week due to the stomach flu, he's starting today without being aware of some of the basic rules he's supposed to follow. Like sitting down outside the classroom, waiting for the teacher to open the door, in nicely formed boys lines/girls lines. But another (loudmouth) parent instructed him to sit and so he did.

He knew where his seat was and after making a few cautious glances my way, he just sat quietly and waited for instructions. I kissed him and walked away. I left that little piece of my heart sitting there in that classroom.

I held it together until I got home. Then the thoughts started pouring through my head. Will he know where to go to the bathroom? Will he be able to tell the teacher that he needs to go or will he just go? With so many kids, she's pretty busy so if he can't get her attention in time, will he have an accident?

He doesn't know any of the kids! Will he make friends? Will he talk to them and have fun or will any of them realize he doesn't talk as well as they do, and make fun of him?

Will he be able to understand the directions the teacher says, and follow along? Will his autistic traits handicap him in any way, or will being put in this regular Kindergarden (instead of a Special Ed one) push him harder to excel rather than holding him back? Will he get frustrated or overlooked?

I noticed he didn't finish his cereal so what if he gets hungry before lunch?

Sigh...so many more things in my head.

And yet, I know to trust God with my son. After all, Samuel was His before he was mine. And last night we had a special family prayer over Samuel and said a blessing over him. We prayed for his clarity of mind and that he would learn well. We prayed for his protection physically, mentally, and emotionally. He is in God's hands.

Silly mommy. I need to just accept that I won't get much done today except prayer for Samuel!

The Nightmares We Aren't Living

Have you looked at your life lately?

We are ridiculously blessed.

You are probably reading this in a comfortable home, on a nice computer, iPad, or phone. You might be sipping a beverage (coffee from my Keurig maker, in my case), with your family happily settled in doing something fun or napping...whatever they are doing, they are safe. Most of us have good health, full tummies, and the luxury of doing whatever we want to do today.

And yet, isn't it interesting how much we find to complain about?

Let's see, I'll be raw and honest with you and start off with a list of stuff I could complain about:

I miss living close to my family.

Why does it seem like we never have enough money?

My son has autism and I didn't pick that adventure.

We are in the middle of moving and it's very chaotic.

It's really hot and humid right now.

I don't like my hair.

I want to lose more weight.

I have a hangnail that is infected and it even hurts to type right now.

The list could go on, but it's just dumb, at this point.

The reality is, we find something to complain about daily! Of course some of us have legit woes; death of a loved one, loss of good health, serious financial difficulties, etc. But MOST of us are just being spoiled brats.

Here's an ironic conversation I overheard yesterday while at my son's school; two women with their kids swarming around them were talking about their husbands. The first one blah-blah-blahed endlessly about how mad she was at her husband's ex-wife and how "half of his paycheck goes to her for child support!" "How nice it would be to be able to do more fun things if they only had more of the money that he was shelling out every month to his ex for the kids!" Finally the conversation shifted to the other woman, who then proceeded to launch into a complaining campaign about how her ex husband was not paying his child support money to her. I wanted to butt in and ask the first woman if she preferred to have a slacker husband who wasn't doing his financial duty for his kids? They seemed to miss the irony of the two of them vehemently complaining about (and agreeing with each other) the opposite sides of the same issue.

I have a feeling they'll just keep complaining about this for years.

Anyway, have you read or seen anything about Jacee Dugard lately? She recently gave an interview with Diane Sawyer and I saw a clip of it online. That girl lost her innocence tragically at age 11, and spent 18 YEARS brutally restrained, repeatedly raped, and controlled while living in impoverished conditions. She bore 2 children for her abuser and in this clip was talking about giving birth to the first one at age 14; while in labor she was alone, scared out of her mind, and yet she did it.

That just struck me! I've given birth three times in a safe hospital setting, surrounded by medical professionals and loving, supportive family. I never want to complain about any of the pain I endured, again. Not after knowing what that 14 year old girl went through.

Many times the questions we ask ourselves is;

"Why is this happening to me?

Why aren't I having the wonderful pain-free, problem-free life I want?

How come everything hasn't turned out like I wanted it to?

Why isn't my husband perfect?

Why are my kids so wild?

Why don't I have more money?

Don't I deserve a good life?"

What we need to be asking ourselves is;

"How is it that my life is NOT as bad as others?

Why aren't I the one dealing with a missing or murdered child?

How come I wasn't born in a country where I was raped around age 5

and then sold by my own parents into sex slavery

in order to give my family a few extra bags of rice?

Why isn't my family in a nation of civil unrest that tears us apart and forces us all into torture and abuse, including rape and being infected by HIV?"

Because the blunt reality is that NONE of us deserve the blessings that we have and the wonderful life that we are given.

It's by the grace of God that we are born to decent families in a prosperous nation.

It's by the grace of God that we have our basic health.

It's by His mercy that we aren't forced into

abuse, slavery, and a life of horrendous crime just for survival.

We gripe about our house when millions of people wish they had a safe place to sleep.

We critically judge our appearance in the mirror and devise ways to lose weight when millions of children literally starve to death every day.

We fuss with our hair, our nails, our clothes, and yet millions of kids wonder if they will live with their diseases long enough to become a teenager.

We moan about the mess and noise our kids are making when thousands of parents endure the nightmare of having their kids kidnapped and knowing that finding their dead bodies might be preferable to never knowing what happened to them.

Maybe your life isn't perfect. Maybe it hasn't turned out like the fairy tale you imagined that it would. But instead of focusing on what you don't have, let's try thanking God for what we don't have...those daily horrors that some people live and breath every moment.

Let's thank Him for what we DO have and remember that

..."but for the grace of God, there go I."

Gratitude During Moving Chaos

ARG so much going on right now, with us moving to the Kapolei area of Oahu. This is an exciting time, and one we've been looking forward to for awhile...ok a looooooong while....but it's also pretty stressful in some ways.

Packing and moving a household of 5 people would be a challenge no matter what, but with 3 of those people age 4 and under, it's interesting. Samuel keeps asking for certain books/toys and when he's reminded that those are packed in boxes, he responds with a very 15-year-old sounding; "Aww, MAN!" It's really funny. He needs to be prepared well in advance when something 'different' is happening, so he's been told what is going on and can recite it to anyone who asks; "We are putting everything in boxes. The boxes go in a big truck. We drive the big truck to NEW HOUSE and take the boxes out. We cut into the boxes and get out all our toys again."

Sounds simple, right? haha yeah, to him.

The Ko'Olina Lagoons will be our closest beach area;

which is great because we love to take our kids there already!

Olivia doesn't understand the move, and probably won't even remember living here in this place since she was born here and is only about to turn 3. She's just going with the flow, which means her usual asking for a Princess movie, needing more juice or chocolate milk or snacks or to go to the potty or wanting her blanket or her pillow or crying about Samuel doing something or crying because she saw a bug, or crying for no reason at all.....you get the picture. She is high-maintenance to say the least.

Olivia playing "Packing and Moving"; where she packs a box full of toys, writes on it with a pen, closes it and moves it to another room where she proceeds to open and unpack it. Since this is the first move of her entire life, my sister and I decided this proves that moving is in her DNA. Yep, I passed on some gypsy blood I guess!

And Emma needs everything a 7-month old baby needs, which is food, diapers, sleep, and constant supervision because everything goes into her mouth and she is trying to learn to walk already.

Ems trying to stand climb on the boxes in her determination

to actually walk before we leave this house!

It's fun here!

But I've been thinking about blessings and how I want to be sure and remind myself about the ones I have in my life. I want to remember to thank God for them because I surely don't deserve them. For everything bleh in my life, I want to stop and turn the bleh moment into hurray!

The house we are moving to won't be THAT much bigger. But it WILL have another bedroom AND a front yard AND a backyard, both fenced in, which is a crazy blessing here in Hawaii.

It's a pain to pack everything. But God has prepared me for this; this is my 15th move in life so really, I'm a pro and it requires very little mental energy to efficiently pack. Heavens knows I need my mental energy for other things.

It's hot here and icky to work in. But we are moving to a higher elevation which should be cooler and rainer...yay! My kids may even actually wear clothes during the day if it's cool enough!

My kids, husband, and myself have good health. My husband is awesome and I'm so proud of him for getting this new job and making this big move for his family, because it's just one more step up for us on our road in life.

My kids are amazing. Samuel will be starting Kindergarten in a new school and has no fear whatsoever; he's so excited about it and I know he'll do well in the new program. He's reading 3-letter words and hearing him sound out words makes my heart jump with pride. Olivia is trying to potty train and is SUCH a good little mommy to Emma. Emma...oh my word....that child is gorgeous and sweet and I spend so many moments of the day just kissing her! I can't help it! She may be my last baby and that alone is reason to slow down and enjoy her adorableness!

OK, back to work. I just really wanted to share an attitude of gratitude!

Rainbow Cake

I feel bad because I posted pics of my rainbow cake on FB last night, but I was too tired to explain it...and to say that the idea is NOT my own! I don't want to take credit for something that wasn't my original idea, so let me tell you where I got the idea from....a blog I found through Pinterest!

By the way, have you gotten on Pinterest yet? OH MY WORD so much simple fun...haha....I love it. I love the idea of making a 'bulletin board' of your dreams/wishes/goals and Pinterest makes it easy. You can browse hundreds of pictures and 'pin' the ones you like onto your own boards. Or just 'pin' a picture up when you come across one you like online. So much fun. Love it. Join now (free). Click here.

ANYWAY I digress. So yeah, this is the pic I found on Pinterest, and the cool thing about Pinterest is that you can usually click on the picture and find who originally posted it, and therefore how to make that wonderful bookcase/clothing item/culinary delight.

Doesn't that look AWESOME??? But don't wait any longer, click over to the ORIGINAL blog to see how to do this. And guess what....this is Weight-Watcher's approved!! Yep! Here you go, click here.

Ok, so I didn't follow her recipe though, for two main reasons:

1. I wasn't worried about doing it Weight-Watcher-approved

2. I'm not that good of a cook. I don't do complicated recipes. Period.

So mine was simple; I got the white cake mix and followed all the directions to make the batter. Since it calls for only egg whites I was super impressed that I knew how to quickly & manually separate the egg whites, thanks to my years of working at IHOP in college and watching the cooks do this. A nod to those slavery years, thank you IHOP.

Then I separated the batter into roughly equal portions. I decided to only do 4 colors because it was late and I was tired, but my imagination could see all sorts of colors and combinations possible. The purple came from mixing blue/red dye.

Then I plopped the batter (dividing it into two of course) into the WELL GREASED cake pans. This was fun. Actually this whole cake was fun but probably because I love colors and these are awesome bright colors, yes?

Bake these beauties like the box says to do. And here you go. I didn't do the stacked cake like the original blog does because I was making one small one for my family to enjoy, and the other is for a friend. But yes, the stacked one would be fun. I also want to do cupcakes this way but thanks to my husband, I didn't have access to my cupcake pans. That's another story I won't delve into here.

And I didn't go fancy with colored icing because, as stated above, it was late and I was tired. Next time, I want to do fun icing though. I'm visualizing a red/white/blue cake with some sort of matching icing...for the Fourth of July? Or whatever...let your imagination run wild...

YUM YUM!!! My husband & the kids were in love with this cake and couldn't wait to eat it.

OK so if you go into Pinterest, enter "rainbow cake" into the search box and be inspired by all the pics that come up. The next time you make a cake for your kids, make it FUN!

Seriously, if I can do this, anyone can do it.

I'll Take Some Inner Peace, Master Shifu!

When I was a kid, I looked forward to summer so much! Nights of staying up late playing outside until the fireflies came out, then getting to read in my bed until I nodded off to sleep...lazy days of sleeping in, having breakfast for lunch before a day of climbing trees, reading, playing with the cats and dogs, and finding exciting new places to explore. Summer seemed too short!

HAHAHAHAHA fast forward a few years and now I'm a mom. And now summer is tooooo long!

Don't get me wrong, I ADORE my son. I love Samuel to pieces and would do anything for him. I enjoy pulling him close for hugs and kisses even when he smells like a sweaty boy. However, as discussed in my previous posts, he has high-functioning autism and this means summers are TOO LONG for all of us!

"Look Mommy, I'm Master Shifu!"

Autistic kids thrive (and survive) on routines. Samuel in particular, loves having his days mapped out for the next few weeks, including every activity he may be involved in. He can tell you what he's supposed to do in the days leading up to a fun activity and it would sound something like this; "Wake up, eat pudding, go to school. Come home, take a nap, wake up, watch a movie, play, read books, go to park, take a bath, brush teeth, read a Bible story, say prayers, go to sleep. Then wake up, eat pudding, go to birthday party! Yay!" And this is how our days go, every day. If something is coming up that is unusual, we prepare him for it days or weeks in advance. His teachers create visual calendars showing all the school days, holidays, etc. that they send home with him, knowing he wants to cross off days and look at everything planned out for him in advance.

SO now it's summer. The schedule is 'messed up', regardless of any summer schedule I try to implement. He also thrives on learning so I try to do homeschooling, but he gets through all of that so quickly it's crazy...then he's bored. And a bored boy equals trouble! Add a 2-yr old girl and a baby learning to crawl, and it's no wonder my home looks like an earthquake turned it upside down! And sleep....HAHA what is that??

Anyway, my son is watching Kung Fu Panda 2 and playing with all of his beloved KFP2 action figures from McDonalds. I have to laugh at the movie because of its theme about achieving inner peace. The theory is; if you can achieve inner peace, you can harness the power of the universe. Forget the universe, I'll let God take care of that. I just want to harness the power of having a peaceful home, a peaceful mommy with lots of patience, and oh yes, the inner peace of having a long, interrupted nap.

If Mommy's truly mastered inner peace, can you even IMAGINE what we would be able to get done??? If we weren't so sleep deprived, we'd be unstoppable.

Evy's Tree Giveaway

And yes, there is another fantastic giveaway going on over at Evy's Tree. Be ready for any patriotic moment with this Independence Day hoodie!

Click on the link to go to the giveaway site and be sure to follow her for more opportunities to win one of her awesome designs!

http://evystree.blogspot.com/2011/05/share-love-website-prepand-giveaway.html

A Child Lost

Have you ever lost your child in a store or somewhere else? My friend Amy told me once about her son Jake and how he got lost in Barnes & Noble when he was just a toddler. She related how panicked she was, running around yelling his name and probably looking like a crazy mom! But she didn't care how she looked; she just ran and yelled and finally found him. Oh what relief she felt!

I took her story to heart and have probably been a bit over-cautious about my kids when we've gone to the stores. I'm only now beginning to let my 4-year old son walk beside me instead of riding in the cart with his 2-year old sister! I know, I know, that's a little extreme maybe. But he does have high-functioning autism and I know he can get absorbed in something he sees and not pay any attention to where I am or that I'm moving to the next aisle. Or he might think of something he wants to see somewhere else in the store, and off he goes. He's finally getting to the age where he understands to stay near so I'm trying to be more lenient.

I also have great ID tags for Samuel and Olivia, with their names and the phone numbers for both myself and my husband on them. Hey, don't laugh! Seriously, losing one of my kids in a big crowd is such a nightmare scenario that I want to avoid. I love these tags and slap them on a belt loop or clothes tag any time we are in a big crowd like at air shows, museums, the mall, etc. or when Samuel goes on a field trip. If my kid wanders off, I want someone to be able to call me ASAP!

However, a few weeks ago IT finally happened; we lost him in Target. I was shopping with the cart and the two younger kids, and my son went to the bathroom with my husband. I'm not sure what happened but somehow Samuel got done and left and was gone. Just like that. I happened to look up and see my husband fast-walking past the aisle where I was and I could tell from his face and his actions that he was looking for Samuel!

My heart thudded. In that moment, you freeze physically but your mind races. How many exits were there in the store? How many crazy pedophiles looking for an unattended child? Would he go outside and try to find our car? Should I scream and start running around too? I couldn't do that with my other two kids, so I pushed the cart around a few aisles and looked everywhere for a Target employee so I could ask for a Code Adam to be called. I mentally built a complete description of everything Samuel was wearing, from head to toe. And yes, I prayed. Hard and quickly! "Jesus, please let him be OK. Let us find him quickly. Don't let anything happen to him or for anyone evil to touch him."

Those are breath taking, heart stopping, nerve wracking moments, aren't they?

Thankfully, my husband remembered how fascinated Samuel had been with a certain toy they had just been looking at, and he headed to the Toy Department. Sure enough, there was Samuel. Than you, Jesus!

If you've ever had a child run off or disappear in seconds like that, you know exactly how this felt.

So yesterday while I was trying to get things in my home finished up for the night, I put on the "Hero" album by Kirk Franklin. The song "Without You" came on and just really grabbed my attention with its lyrics, especially the line...'like a child that's lost his way'....

It occurred to me once again that we are God's children. How He loves us so much, more than we can imagine. If we as parents get so completely freaked out when we lose sight of our kids, imagine how He must feel when we lose our way. When we don't know Him fully or trust Him completely. When we get caught up in our worries and life's problems and in the confusion of the world. When we feel overburdened by sadness and fear.

Like a parent trying to find our child, imagine Him reaching for us. Trying to guide us, clasp us closely, and wanting to set us on the right path and seeing us reach our full potential. Imagine Him calling your name and holding out His hand, just waiting for you to take it.

I encourage you to take a moment today and remember that He is more than we can imagine. He is reaching for you...yes even you...and for some reason He led you to read this blog at this very moment. If you feel like you've lost your way a little...strayed somehow from the path He has ordained for you...He wants nothing more but to hold you close and help you find your way. Without Him, we can't make it. Without Him, life is meaningless. But WITH Him, everything has meaning and we can live joyously.